[Share It With Me By Reading Plz?]

Every nights were days and days were nights. Sleepy but could not sleep. Having the worries and thinking that time is very precious and there is not much time left and so i shouldn't be wasting it on sleeping. Tots wondering about, looking at other's blogs and friendsters not knowing what to do good. A loner at night and worried that what will i be in the future? Will i be able to give my love ones a good life? Will i be a good father? Will my so called friends be there when i need them? There is always a penny for my thoughts. Worried and really seriously... really regretted of not slaughting for real life in the past. Got a GPA of 3.4 (A) for all my exams but thats ITE... You get what i mean? Kenny's turned out to be one of my close friend now... Surprising... Know why he turned out to be one? He is working with me and thats some good i see in him out of all my friends. But, likewise, he don't forsee much... Wanting to quit school and enter army and not knowing where he is heading. This is something that all my friends are facing... Is this the reason thats why Normal A /Express /Special Streams existed? Oh god... I shd be in those two better streams and get to know people of my same endeavour of businesses. I know that i am not eloquence but this script of blog is sincerity from the bottom of my heart. My ideal life friend is one that will study, work, excercise, and plan his life. Yet to have one. In fact, I know of this 3 guys who is kinda smart and one of them by the name of Kitson. He is smart and have dreams but selfish. Why would i say so is he thinks only for himself. The other one is Wee Hong. He was not one i always see potential in till now, when he sells his "Ti Lam" alone. And the last guy was a gifted guy from Heaven. I knew him since young and he is smart, one that dislike studies too but think too highly of himself. No offences. I am not saying that he is proud or what but in life, you need to see yourself even and there, you will have space for improving. Thinking too highly will only cause you to neglect on others comments and remarks. This guy i am talking about is none other then Nicholas. I knew him and the other guy "Zhi Liang" since we were very young. Zhi liang is those nerd type but wise and love to act stupid. He led his life with good normal boys. Nic, he led his life well enough to know good people from the express. For me, i led my life into underworlds and eventually, be in ITE. I started my life with good friends like the 2 of them but 3 of us had taken a different pathways instead. I agreed that i used to bully ZL and nic was one who always quarrels with me as both of us hate to give in. Now that we dont treasure our relationships and very soon, having different lives to lead... To think of it, its a waste. If we were to build our relationships since young, i guessed i wont be here typing this script and we would have the same dreams ahead of us. Life is never a game as i havent found the restart button. Now that you know the reasons of why i fantasise on americans. Its because i cant find anyone of the same dream of mine and thats why, americans is one good choice as i always reguards them as wiser people. I am so afraid that one day if i dont have a stand and friends were just another word and love has gone for better life of hers... What will be Barry then? Zzz. Nvm... Enough said... I am going too far. Talking about my working life in KFC... Quarrelled with a costumer as i wasn't ignoring him and he was pissed by Kenny and the other workmates of mine as they were playing. I was engrossed in their play and overlooked the costumers. He and his GF (The Costumers) scolded my work mate and my work mate did plead and aplogised. When our manager engaged in the converasion with them, he said all of us were playing and i am ignoring him... Come on... Of coz i got flared up and went over and confront him. He said, you are in the service line and whatever i said, you dont talk things back. Not that i am not giving face to my manager but i was like... so innocent. Ok... things are fine and i told my manager that i need time to cool down and so, i am off from next monday to friday. Back to Goals... There is a girl with goals that i know of who is working hard too. She is Yin luan... My friends used to mocked at her but when i get to know her better, she is fine. I wana wish her all the best in whatever she do... Dont give up ya? Ok... i will end here. Thanks Blogspot for giving me space to express my feelings and tots. See ya ~!


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
1.04 AM

  [Elderly 1st Or Ranking 1st?]

Well, short one ya? Worked today and my sales is $1013. Base work mates is kinda slow as both of them were elderly. Seeing them working hard for money is sad but it really slowed down the speed of we cashier. I went back to help but they said NO and i supposed that they dont want me to have that mindset of them being old and useless. Fine then... i waited and so does my costumers. Just go on chit chatting with my costumers to keep them accompany as our services is beyond expectations. Pouches behind started and its funny seeing the manager scolding them... Well... where is the respect that we used normally? Isn't Elderly's rights to have our respect? Well well, applying my quote here again... The earth spins on a dollar sign axis. Correct me if i am wrong... Just my opinion. Was smsing kenny as he is hunting for a desktop and need absents advice. What i told him did not stay in his mind. Flicker minded and always wanted more... Guess what? He made a mountain out of a mole hill and his 50 bucks is like a million to him... 50 bucks for deposit of a two years contract for a desktop PC. Not sticking my nose to his peace and ques. Both of us is off tml and i guessed for Kenny, its just another day but for me... Hehe, I got my love life to lead. Dar dar time... Havent been catching up on the both of us for quite sometime... Hope she wont be bored out. Understanding me understands that she is the only child and has to be please... But will understanding Dear understands that Barry did this for good? Its still a 50:50 thing. Boriness can overtake everything. Handle it with care... Advice to ya blog mates. Sounded like an Advisor. Seriously, humans get bored and tend to find ways to relieve it and thats where new love takes its place. Life is so till you got your stands. Trust me... Be passionate and loving to your love ones and NEVER FLIRT... That just sucks big time... A 5 alphabetical word can replace a millions sadness. Don't mess up other's life and yourself's please. No confident for a marriage, why stead? Lust is never a reason to be in love... Steady guys... ok... Gona catch some sleep to look good tml. Love ya PT.~


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.21 AM

  [KFC For You?]

Started working in Takashimaya KFC on Thursday. Was a cut of my mind and wasn't mend to be a stable part time job but later, why not? Was curious of how KFC produce that great chicken and so by the help of Kenny, i got in easily. You must be thinking " Why is Barry so interested in chicken?". Yeah~ i am but other than chicken, other foods as well. Build up a love in F and B lately. Was interviewed by the store manager there and i spoke american's slang english. No other roles but cashier for me. Regretted doing it at first but soon later, its still ok. At 1st things was messy and i told myself in time to come, i will do better. If this simple jobs held me on my stand, what can i achieve in future. Well, mastered it and now its smooth. Wondering why i didnt blog on those days before? I was busy memorising the price and packings of the meals. The main manager there is strict in a way that work is the 1st priority. We cant really blame her as i dont want to be the one putting sands in her rice bowl you see. So understood. She is also kind in a way that at times, she smile to both ends at us. That is the spirit that make us want to do more for her. I am working happily in KFC dough the pay is kinda little. Well, there are two more co- manager there and they are like friends to us. We went to OCH together in the KFC lorry. Well, other KFC outlets staffs joined in as well. We were in the lorry and it is really stuffy in there. Taking a break at changi village and seeing those Gays. I wouldnt say gay... Ok. Bi-sexual is the word. The manager told us that these is the place to see real pretty womens ( which was male ) OMG, cant project the image further. Hairs stood high indeed. Reached OCH... No fear at all and is boring as i dont see any of That Kind of thingy. Perhaps the joy outbeat the fear. Got home only at 6.45AM or so. Really beat and took a rest. Despite of all these, missing of someone will always be there from the moment i open my eyes and start my day. Sad that i cant fook out enough time for my dearest but i believe, when i make it to my goals, our lives will be better off. Suffer 1st and enjoy last. Quote from my dad... Havent been applying it from sec 1 to 3 and i think is time to do so before its too late. Now that i know my dad is wiser then me in certain ways. He is a hero to me always. Ok, enough of my dad... Wrote my Goals, Aims, Stairs of success, quotes of my own and what i want at the age of what. These are very important things that you need to keep in mind... DONT EVER GET LOST... I was lost once and pull back by love to be who i am now, behind my window grills and not behind the bars. Get what i mean? =D One quote of mine out of many that i want to share, This quote from me and i find that it might help... i dont know if there is any other people that tot of it but so far as i know, i never came across and it is freshly from me, Selfish is not about unsharing, it is about protecting. Think hard *WeeK* I tot of many more quotes and if you want some, ask me and i am willing to share. OK, see you my blog mates, Tata ~!


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.17 AM

  [This will be a long script of mine.]

Been really long since i last blog. Hey, i have my reasons ok? I am throwing this out to you that if you were to read on from here, at the very least 5 minutes of your life will be spending on my blog meaningfully =X Ok... My main reason for blogging on today is... I have the time as i will not be working in Marina Mandarin again i hope as school is reopening very soon. Today is my so called 'Last Day' working. Couple of days ago, my Mum got me a new bike to replace the one that is stolen. Replaced Price Of Bike In Total ( $370 ) Stolen ( $159) Hmm... still worth it =) Happy and went cycling and try to recall those stuns i did in the past. Kenny was such a dunce... He cant managed not even something easy... Fine then, i dont encourage stuns players too. Stuns is very dangerous... but standing on both stands is equally risky. Peitian stood on the stands behind my bike, upon changing velocity of my bicycle and the hump, she fell. OUCH~ A cut slashes deep right to the very end of my heart. Turning back looking at her facing the ground is worst. She had bruses all over her knees and feet. Not to mention her tummy... Got her up and bring her to a place to wash up. Really crossed my mind that i am helding a FEMALE and not a MALE behind. Though it is not something big to exclaim about but... my love one. Hurts... She is understanding and no ruction took its place. She went to see a doctor and things went smoothly. Back to working, things are getting better as most workers there knew that i had some relationship with the GM there. Lifes is still hard but better in certain ways. Hmm... Remember Ling li? Don't jump into any conclusions. I treaded on Tan Zhi Liang Webbie (Blog) and came across Ling li's webbie and something got in me stating that why are we like strangers? Sin? Saint? Stain? Ah la ma... What stain. My integrity is there and why must i be in fear of another female? Leave a msg on her blog and it really felt good that i am able to do so. eitian? Nah... She understands... Don't worry. Hmm... Today went to Takashimaya with Kenny the mole and Jin wei the molely. Went for some lan gamings and male shoppings. I bought a feather pilliow as i am encountering sleeping problems lately. Went to work and meet Kenny and his KFC lads... We got on in one cabin of the train and chatted our journey away. Got home and watch some tv and into Blogging. I left some msgs on those newly blogged guys. I changed my hairstyle after reborning my hair... I got crazy troughts always after reborning. Cut my hair and changed my parting. No longer center. Will upload it when i could. Gotta catch a bath now.~ And... Dreamland is ours. BH<->PT


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.40 AM

  [Summrise on the days missed]

Back... This few days were packed. Hardly have time to blog. Worked on monday and was the 1st day we go on taking 2 tables each. Things start off well for me but soon enough it got worst. I am able to keep in pace with the speed of the kitchen but i helped Benny who is slower than me. I got scolded because Jin Wei is slower then Benny but i helped Banny instead. Fine, i went to help Jin Wei. Another caption came along and scolded me... Guess what now? Instead of helping Hong Gee who is slower then Jin Wei, I helped Jin Wei. Wah? Does that make any sense? Nothing to say and jolly well nodded and help. Tuesday - Today dont have work. Resting days... The day before yesterday ( Thursday ) went to POSB to start an account. Start that account with 30 bucks. LOL Today... Went out to basketball court and played some basketball of cause. Went home and change and headed to Orchard. Got some free KFC food and met Jun Hong... Wondering who is the girl with him. He seems to be very well mannered in a way that he dont used to =X haha... Stead? perhaps... Tutor? haha. who cares... Bug him for that... He told me that they ordered chicken and when the gate shut, they havent got it. Haha... Staff there told him to collect it tml... Zzz Crappy? Hmm... After the meal Ta Bao some home and Played some girls... WHAT? I TYPED GIRLS? Haha... Dear dear... Thats not what i wanted to type... Dont even dare think about it... =X Sowee... GAMES LAR! GIRL -.- Played till 12 and went for the last train. Got home played some girls... Shit... GIRLS AGAIN. GAMES with Kenny and now... Blogging. Girls that good to type? girls girls girls girls girls girls girls girls.... games games games gmeas... Yeah... indeed. Made a typo on games but not on girls. Hmm... Maybe true... harder to type in a sense. =D Ok... Going to meet someone in dream... I am very LATE for the meeting le... dont hai wo. Dont stop me... NONO~~~~ GTG... WAN AN~!


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
3.52 AM

  [Ones Poison Is Another Man's Honey]

Start my blog with words of coz. Went out early today as it is the 1st audition day for Singapore Idol. Wanted to see most of the contestants. Reached there and the four of them got tired and they ain't interested at all. Drop that mindset and headed to the arcade. When the time strike 5.10, hasting started. We took the fastest route ( Which i doubt thats it. ) to Marina Mandarin as we dont wana go on an empty tummy through out our working hours. Things started very smoothly but was a boring one. Kenny was there too and it was his 1st day. He was assigned to be cocktail dealer ( Mainly Topping Up Drinks ). Things like this he cant do well. I wont say well, Good is enough. He was supposed to ask the guest for drinks that they want but he was too scare to do so and in the end, i was the one doing. We were rushing for time as i tag with Benny on 2 to 3 tables basis and he is DAMN SLOW!!! Fine... Drinks, i serve, plus 2 tables i handled. Chinese saying " Cover Mountian Cover Sea" Bao shua bao hai. We are way behind time as we need to keep pace with the kitchen. The lucky thing was the captions today is good. Both Malays. The joke and helped us. Jin wei broke couple of things and poured water over guest. All the captions do was relac lar, take it easy brother, dont worry. Even me, a passby, felt so good. So touched. Kenny broke some cups and Banny pour fish soup on a lady's skirt. Any one of these could lead to serious conculsion. I bet when there is chinese captions there, we dont have to report to work tml. Oh yah, my father told me if those captions still unreasonable, i will head to the director office ( My father's Friend. ) and call him from there. Nah... If it is possible, i will bear with it. Dont want another enemy. Two HONEST guest said i am good. =X JK... but seriously, Yeah 2!!! Haha... one said you seems to be very experianced in your job... I replied, " Sir, i am trying my very best to bring the best services to you but sorry to say that i worked here for only 3 days." Haha... he was like surpised to hear that. What to do, my father used to be a F&B Manger. =l I told him " Sir i got to get going" and went back to work. Things were good to those of Kenny's and Benny's. Getting late now. Fill you guys in 2 days later. Take care ~


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
3.47 AM

  [Money Don't Come Easy ]

Start the day with a yawn. Havent had enough sleep and got to go to Peitian's house. Wasn't really her fault as i am the one that long to see her. Happy and willing to trade my sleep for the sight of her. Reached Yishun MRT station at about 4.12 PM to meet up with Banny and Jin Wei... We are about to start earning our 1st income of our vacation. The food there for staff is simple but tasty. Had our dinner and headed to the ball room... I was assigned to the cocktail area ( Meaning to say all i have to do it serve drinks ) Haha... Happy of coz... To my surprise, it is worst... I had to hold on to the jar for 1 hour... Cant wait for the time to strike 11.30 PM... The time we are dismiss. The Captions there so fark up... Inhuman, not a little like any. They hit us hard and make sure we see them like master. They ate those guest servings but all we could do is to stare. They do nothing but order us. Not even a min of break time. Dont know if i wana bring this up to my father, perhaps they will get it but i dont wana build a bad rapport with them. Sad... Money dont come easy... So in fear of this world. Even after work we got to run for the last train... Back home at 12.45 AM. Had some food and about to turn in but blogging is the only thing i could do as i have no one to share my feelings but blogs. I need to turn in and get some energy for TML work. Good night Blog.~


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.36 AM

  [Jealous? ]



- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.59 AM

  [Waiter's Life]

Lets see how i should start. Ok... Today is the 1st day i report to work but wasn't really into working yet. Yeah, as i mentioned yesterday, the training. I will start of from the moment i woke up. My darling "Peitian" came over to my place and woke me up... It took me awhile before i am ready to go for me rinse and shine. We are supposed to meet Jasmine - Peitian's Friend as both of them need to study for their coming exam O Lvl... I cuddled till we met only at 12.10 AM =l It is not fully my fault... peitian need to go to there HDB holding to buy session parking for her dad and that itself took her 10 mins. Very LONG HOR! So bad leh... let her friend wait for her so long. I felt sad for her friend. Reached Causeway point, went for our meals and waited for Kenny and Hong Yi (My working lads) When they arrived, three of us went to TimeZone and wasted some cash. After it, Went back with some food for the ladies. Time to meet Banny and Jin Wei and so we headed to Yishun MRT and go for the training together. WOW~! The ball room is indeed unbearable. Even the silk carpets sparkered your eyes. Wanting to sleep but the one hosting the bliefing is rather strict... Every 1 min talk about deducting our pay if we do something wrong. Well, who knows if i can make it? Give it a try... Simple process, Serving nah ma... Hands on time, Poured water on Jin Wei as we are doing a role play and he is the guest. Haha, who is the guest INDEED make a big different. Nah, i am not the worst... banny got nothing better to do but to pour on the carpet. OMG... One of my father's buddy was standing there watching... Arggg. Hmmm... Later on, we went to takashimaya to have KFC and later headed home. Watched the show recorded by my father and into blogging. Wah i really very tired cant really think of writing in proper english... Leisure talk lar!!! its 2.33 AM now leh! From now on, leisure blog hor... In this case, the one typing also feels comfortable ma... ok... Wan an Bloggie... Oh ya... I will start working on Thursday. Wish me luck ~ *_*


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.40 AM

  [Dating 0.o]

Got home at 10 plus today. Kinda tired as i am out lottering at orchard for the whole day. Wasn't my idea but hers. Yeah! Her's... Peitian asked me out for a movie and i never know that we need to do warm ups before a movie. =D Went on shopping from East to West back to East... Fancy looking at dress and some pokerdots shit. Brought some stuff for her friend "Dorcus" as her birthday is coming. This wasnt a complain, walking under the sun with the one you love is nothing more than you desire. I am willing to walk on even till downpour. Oh yah... Went to play some bowling. AW... 2 rounds wasted on playing hook with HOUSEBALL. 1 strike but the score for both rounds is below 100. Peitian managed to get 100 for both rounds... Jealous >.<~! Emily and Kelly took a job on play bulbs for couple of mins. We met them in Takashimaya KFC. I was there to find kenny for some free chicken that we can bite on but surpisingly, heard them calling my name. Was kinda shock at the very moment. Watched the movie " The Day Before Yesterday " What? What are you laughing? Oh, Okay. The Day After Tomorrow. Yeah, nice but too short. After that, nothing more and so we headed home. When i reached home, Watch the show recorded in my computer by my dad and did some chattings. Was about to turn in real soon but blogging is a must. Dragged myself up and back to typing. Took the IQ test and the score is not bad. I will upload the screen print right below this blog when i have the time. Off to bed now... TML 1st day to work...dont wana be a panda.~ *


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
1.38 AM

  [Back Once Again]

Hmm... currently on my vacation and so i am able to find time for blogging once again. Took my exams and now, awaiting for the results. Been long since i last blogged and i supposed you guys must have missed me pretty much. =D Well, schooling in ITE Macpherson and having chosen the course "Machatronics", lifes good here. I am used to the surroundings and adapted to ITE life but of cause, days in Canberra is much better. ~>.<~ Now that i know of how precious is childhood memories. Time for the Word "REGRET" to take its role. I am sure that i will do better if time were to roll back. Sounds familiar to you? What is past is past. Found a job in Marina Mandarin as a waiter ( Banquet ) My father used to work in Mandarin Hotel and got a couple of buddies there. Those buddies of his were big shots of the holdings and so i got in easily. Easy in a sense that i skipped the interview session and directly into training course. Happy... Why not? Friends like Tiong hui havent have his mind slot out. Just because of his long hair, he gave up this job. Dont know what he live for and what he expect from live. Tomorrow is the day of my training. Cant wait to start working. Oh yah... Talking about Singapore Idol, did crossed my mind. My application was sent but will be withdrawn anytime sooner. Those chinese spoken friends pouring cold water... This is not the main reason. The main reason is there are only 3k participants for SG Idol where else 70k took part in American Idol. Moreover, it wont be boardcasting in America. Jean Yip sponsed this event which was not even a little related to SG Idol. Hairstyling for the singers? Enough said. Nic is online, I'm gonna ask him to link me. Back to blogging when i have time. Zz


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
12.08 AM

  [A Thousand Sorries]

Dearest, I will grant you what you want as i love you. perhaps you really thinks that you love me more then others do, bear in mind that others feels that he/she love you more then others do to. Think for others <-- an advice. not stating that you have to think of me. I am inhuman to have hurt you so. i felt so pain inside. who can i share? who can i live up to? Even my dearest dont understand me, what else ? thinking that i can share any problems? Example : A Gal likes me, i share this problem as i dont want to be mistook. but you said i replied to her and all. so how can you really helps me? you are just adding on to it. So this is the reason y i dont share problems i have but to pretend that nothing had happened. You tend to think alot, so do i. you voice them out when you can take it anymore, but i dont. i invert all your troubles and stress into myself. <--- this made me turn out to be an ignorant person. seems not caring to you. I tot things more then you do in fact. If you love me, you will ask why are you so cold to me? did i done wrong ? what can i do to brighten up your days, No! but you took it that i am just so cold to you. Think abt yourself <--- this is selfish. I never regretted to have you. Neither do i see any bad points in you... it is just humans fault. Mistakes and fault to be mend. I am giving you all the time i have. but you are just taking it too lightly while i felt so hurt really. While you are in camp, i Worried so much for you. do i need to msg you all the time telling you that i am worry every sec? Think abt others <<<<< REALLY AN IMPT ADVICE TO YOU! <--- might helps you in your carreer and so on... it will stick to you for life. You said that we are of different world, i dont agree to it. i am not saying that it is your fault, it is my fault for not knowing how to love well for PEITIAN. Each has different character and you really thinks that you can do better in the next relationship? 80% worst. i am not bullshiting or anything... i admit and sweared i am a very good guy liao. if you wana try out others, just feel free. I did my best but failed and this is really my fault... my luck.... my life... I cant blame others for not loving me right? after all, life is never fair. you can be cheated by anyone. the only regrets i have is to have known you too early... YES! really the biggest regret. you are not special to me, just another gal. but it is Love in concern now. i can hope for an angel? i am just Barry Han. Even if i had an angel, it would be you. same thing. an angel is an angel, nothing is special in this world. if it is special, it will not even exist. Exp: A human that can fly, yes fly, but it is just a human that flies... nothing special? I know that you are the only child in the family and needed someone to accompany and care. You are pampered and so you are abit selfish. i dont wish for much, just hope that you can ease your selfishness for once... think abt me this time.I have to please you, my parents to you, my friends, my studies, m carreer... so many many things. All you do is to think abt me and your studies. nothing else.Be fair to me, dont leave me for craps reason.. leave me only when you love others, i might be hurt but life is so. i know it is hard for you too... but you have to think abt me and yourself and not yourself and yourself. vise viasa, dont be selfish to yourself too. It is not like you leave and the problem is solved. you are just leaving all the problems to me to sort things out. PLZ share my problems. i really got no one to turn to... felt like breaking down into your arms. but you dont understand me, how am i to do so? i am in this battle alone!!! YEAH alone! wanted to remark on your faults, wanting to scold you. but was scare this might happen but despite that i dont, it still happened. All i can do is to play and go out with friends to felt that i am not lost. i still have them to turn to. But~ on your side, you thinks that i care for friends and not you... how am i to voice THIS PROBLEM OUT? TO WHO?!!!!! TO WHO!!!!! NO ONE!!! JUST MYSELF ALONE!!! HOW SAD AND PAIN DO YOU KNOW THAT!! you have to understand me inorder to help me to slowly ease my troubles one by one. i am just so lost, i will just play games after games after games like i dont have life, i want to turn my night to day and day to night, know y? just becoz i have so much troubles and i want to cover them by adding more. I want to get myself confused and stop blank not knowing what i am doing and thinking. It is really unhealthy... I wanted to die many times, but i am so scare that if i die, you felt hurt, my parents and all. it is really hurting to lose someone you love. But i guess after reading this you can laugh... it is alright with me. All i want from you is not your love, just understanding. UNDERSTAND ME FOR ONCE THAT I LOVE YOU!!!!! NOT A FAKE!!! PLZ... JUST UNDERSTAND ME FOR THIS!!!! i dont want you to have memories that i dont love you... you can leave me, but understand me that i love you... i just wish plz, for this new yr, understand that i love only you. may be ignorant and cold to you, it doesnt matter, just drop these and understand that i love you. This is the best present i can get from you.NOT YOUR LOVE, IS YOUR UNDERSTANDING! dont want you to love blindly. really hard to describe ones expression in words... so hard. sounded so fake... plz plz plz. this is serious. since you wanted a break, i will tell you now.... I kept this to myself for long. I am tired so long ago and wanted to be alone, but at the same time i love you with my heart and not by my fake expressions. I wanted to change you but times and again failed and turn out to be my fault. So tired, felt like dying on one side, but loving you and dont wana lose you on the other, so i cant have a break up. cant break up? so i had to spent lots and lots of time by myself to think abt my problems and all. thats y i hardly shown love to you as i felt free to be alone without you. so this is the reason y sometimes i felt pissed when you call and dont talk. you really took up the time i had to spend alone with myself. i cant change you. CAnt lose you, Cant stay alone, cant think well, cant share problems, <---- Really painful... Wana die also cannot. Argasfagasdas arggggg asdojaofsnaignwrOJ w Sick liao. . i am so mad now. cant type le. wan an dear. If you read this, good that you understand and have a good impression of me for life. if you did not, thats just my luck. Love u truly~


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
5.45 AM

  [Resignation]

Once again another day, cuddled in my bed for quite some time as i resigned working at Metro yesterday. Feeling bored working for Metro. Hardly have time for Peitian and myself. Moreover had to serve some nasty customers and upon that, the manager added on to our stress. Standing there, not far away watching on how was our performance.Pathetic customers, early in the morning dont sleep, window shopping part of healthy lifestyle? Felt like retailating but too bad, i am just a nobody. We did some cleaning up early in the morning. We were all having trouble keeping our eye lids open and with the dust flying all over the place as we did our cleanings, our emotions were just still. Longing for home as the minutes and hours looked as if they had forgotten their job. 1.50 PM, Other shift reported for work. Just by the look of this TZL[Tan Zhi Liang], a paranoid fellow, i as a human felt worst of coz. His hair were as usual, high and UGLY!!! Walked to me, we chatted on craps, abusing on our vocabs and all. 2.00 PM!!! My break time, tummy needed some nice food. Went over to the foodcourt with some lowlifes and got myself Sweet and sour chicken meal. <-- $4 [Not Cheap, drinks not inculded yet] After meals went for my hand punch and headed back to my department. I am serving as much as i can as to get myself a $20 shopper cheque. Normally $15 but for Friday - Sunday is special. Target for yesterday was $1200 and i got my target hit at 5.10 PM. Serving is better then lazing around and since it was my last day, do more for Metro lor. 5.50 PM liao, my sale for the day was $1378. Got my last hand punch and headed to the Mrt station. My destination was Sembawang of coz, but i ended up in Jurong East <-- I not siao. Peitian commanded me over. We went shopping at IMM because i need a new set of bed. After that, she brought me to a "so called" nearby pasamalam. Got hold of 3 T-Shirts and went to a hawker centre for some ambrosia food. Indeed AMBROSIA sia, AMBROSIA till i puke. =| You believe? -.- Hmmm. Warm and cosy bed. Too bad not my bed, its Peitian's. I am at her home and just that alone held me up to about 12 AM. Got on my posh and gave a ride home. After my bath, i did some Blogs of mine but wasn't successful as i am chatting on the phone with PT =X [Hope i wont be in her soup]. Too sleepy to continue too and so i went to catch forty wrinks. Woke up around 11 AM today. Cuddle for some time as i mentioned earlier. Blog striked my mind. Rinse and Shine. Hands on my pc and started cracking my brain. I got it done merely at 5.00 PM and wrote this blog. Ok, update me on whats there for the night. Got to go and get some bites liao. After that watch TV lor...k, stop reading for now and click [X] lar. No point searching for Other things to read as i havent upload them yet. Shoo~ GO GO...


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
5.32 PM

 
[Pay Back Time]

Finally got everything settle down. I spent my pay like there is no tomorrow. I woke up at abt 12 and updated on my blog without even having my teeth brushed. I am done with my updates before 1 and as usual, rinse and shine. Did not had my breakfast maybe because i ate my mum's tom yam noodle at 12.40 AM.[Thai Delicacy, Mai Siao Siao] After eating, went on with my blogs of coz. And right after it, PT drop me a line, we chatted till like 7 eleven close shop? =X I was like so sleepy but kept it to myself as i have always wanted to hear her voice as long as i could.[She bribed me for that. @_@] I think i have to shut this blog as to stay alive. Woke up this morning and got a msg from Jicheng from the msn asking me to play GB with him. I turned him down as i am busy with my blog. Jc then went to Malaysia with his parents for god knows for what. Gone a bone came a moron. Got a call from that TZL again, kept pursuing me on giving him the "Golden Armour"[An Xpensive GB Item]. I have always been turning him down and this time wasn't an exception but after hearing his pityful, dying voice, he was given a chance as boredom caught me. I added on by saying that if he wants that armour so urgently, he would have to win me just a round and he will be awared with what he always wanted. We played 4 - 5 rounds from solo to tag back to solo and the conclusion was...... HE LOST IT ALL... WAHAHAHA.[Oppss. sorry. i was just too excited.] It was not that i dont want him to own that armour, its just that he is too noob for it, you get what i mean? -=- Background Sound At That Point Of Time -=- Ah Liang Ar, What time liao still dont want to eat, going to late for work liao lar. [TZL] okok, i am eating.[Well, still a mummy's boy i shd say.] After that he told me that he give a call to me for the confirm on the location and time to meet him for the journey from Sembawang to Woodland. So Gay Right? Ok fine, I agreed. Got onto the platform and just in time, the mrt arrived. I waited as not to put any planes. Two 2 ... 1 Msg Received... Opening Msg... "I am in the train now... bye bye" Haiz. What a friend. Haha, suddenly something got upon me, Golden Armour!!! I called him back stating "dont wait no armour". Indeed he waited at Woodland control station. I walked into the office and i took that white envelop. Yes! My Pay. Amount is SECRET. Aiya, anyway i spent almost all liao so dont have me as an idea. I went on shopping. What else can i do with my $? 2 hours for my pants - $72.90, 1 hour for my shoe - $69. Arggg. Talking abt shoe, i placed 2 hush puppies in my shoe box as i wanted to bring them home on the day i purchase my shoe thus i did not brought bag for it. The very moment i saw my shoe box unlatched, i knew those 2 were gone for sure. Without opening the box and there exclaimed that TZL, "They took the dogs..." Based on my sharp eyes, i could tell between an experienced liar and a liar that got himself faked. He was trying to push all the blames to Banny. I asked him how do you know those dogs went missing. He spoke alien's language which make no sense at all. In the end, Banny told me that TZL was the headmaster. Indeed my verdict wasn't wrong. I got flared up and sworn that i will never give him the armour. Ok, back to my shopping. 2 PM + 2hrs + 1hr = 5 PM [TZL break time] Went to the same old foodcourt and eat the same old Sweet and sour chicken meal. After eating, we got our butts into "Access" and looked around. Access to Cold Storage [ Bought Drinks ] to Watson [ Bought some Coco ] and back to Metro... Bought a T-Shirt 62.90 and alteration of my pants. 7.40 PM now. Time to go home. Reached home only at around 8.20 PM. Tested my clothings and i felt good but was remarked by my sis. Nothing to say. Went to watch some tv and played some GB and this blog was uploaded only when i have completed those i have mentioned.kk, continue tml. What? you dont pay me to script this out... Shoo~ Come back again tml... Tata~


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
12.51 AM

 
[Hair Styling]

Dreamland...Zzz so boring... Time is 11 AM. Time to be off my back and get onto my Twos. Dragged myself infront of my computer and entered "http://Stainz.blogspot.com/" Wasn't satisfied with my analog clock as the codec of the analog clock cant comply with those of my mouse cursor. No choice or too bad i shd say, had to pick one. Tried hard configuring both but just couldn't mend those into 1 script. Decided to have mouse cursor and so i replaced the codings. Gave a ring to PT apartment during my mendings. Ouch~ felt hurt for spoilting her sleep. hmmm... she will be here 1/2 an hour later. 10 mins before her arrival and i am still on my blog. Havent got my teeth polished yet. OMG. Ought to make my way to the wash room soon. She arrived while i am edjusting my belt's length just nice enough for me as i am attending my cousin's wedding dinner. My father gave me a hand. Not skilled at it but managed to hit some nails. Wore the clothes i bought as she longed to see someone handsome =X Bhb? Thats right... Bhb = Barry Han Best. Haha. OH how crappy can i be. She commented saying that "Am i the one getting marry?" Haha. Well,possible... Does have that certaintives =X 3 blogs uploaded,3 lives wasted. I am now a third generation Barry Han. Bathe and went over to her home. I am so ready to indulge into her mee goreng. Indeed so mouth-watering. You definitely dont believe this. Boiled Mee, Goreng ingredient. Meh Gi Mee leh. -.- How nice if i could have bones to remove and meat to swallow but PURELY MEE. Dejected at 1st but it was a spectacular meal despite of the 0% of vitamins it contained. Haiz. 1st time washed plates for others and myself. Not bad huh? Wasted like half a litre of water ONLY. PLZ dont invite Mr Goh [The PM] to my webbie. They might restrain PT water supply. Tall Long lar~. With my bloated tummy, went to the sofa and took PT's father's Osim feet massager. Felt itchy at 1st but in time to come, i have got into it. Pain but comfortable could describe my feelings then. 4.10 PM. Needed to straighten my hair as to look tidy for the day of cousin's wedding. Haha. Got a professional beside me. From curly,damaged hair to normal,healthy hair and ended up with a damage,curly,burnt hair. Dont be startle lar. Burnt doesn't mean that my hair caught fire. It is just that hhmm.."overheated" I dont blame her for that as she is my dear and not my hair stylist. Really do appreciate her hardship. Not easy ok. People took 3 to 5 hours to get it done and all it took me was 1 hour + - .Being cooped in the washroom for so long, needed something to chew. Mentos chewing mint! bought from JB by PT few days ago. Got some twisties home. Reached home at 6.25 PM. Watched tv lor. nothing to do ma. Directors nowadays sux. Tv catchers, you know what i mean. Started this blog at 11.30 PM but was called later by my sis to use my nokia 7250i to take pictures of them as my sis and mum wanted to use it for their wallpaper. I joined in and took some pictures of myself. Back to this blog at 12.04 AM. OK. This is my blog for the day. You can read over and over again for all i care... If not, go koon lor. Turn in early Owls.


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
12.56 AM

 
[Massage Or SM?]

Just back from massaging. That clara, sister of mine, pulled me onto my bed and gave me massage. Skin to skin = 100% fiction. Haha, 1.20 AM liao still dont sleep but gave me a massage. We leaped quietly to the masterbed room as we needed some lotion to ease the fiction. We did that secretly becoz my mum will scold my sister for staying awake late in the night. Cant get our visions right in such a dim area. Headed to sister's room and Gosh... Broke my grandma's dream. Pray hard she dont make noise. Pinklish perfume-like bottle on the shelfings. LOTION! Got it but was a very very old lotion kept by my grandma. My sis continued on the massage. My back was aching before the massage but soon before you could know, i was so in pain. Sometimes does wonder if she recarnate correctly as a female. Never be decevied by your eyes. Reminder to all males, Never pick a girl that won you in arm wrestling unless you want to get blue blacks. Massage from back to leg and to lap. Three processes done in half an hour. Settle down on this blog only at 2 AM. Hmmm. Today ar? Nothing much lor. Woke up at 12, sleep spoilt by PT this time. Perhaps a revenge. >.< Girls does take note on all the bad things we have done to them regardest of how serious it was. After saying that she will be here soon, i went to the mirror and smile. It smiled back ... Hoho. My brush was pleased to kiss my teeth too. Waited for her abt an hour... Still no sign of her. "Still not out?" "Coming coming" replied her. Finally lai liao. My ah ma cooked for us and we gobbled up the noodles leaving the plate to its dim. yup yup... Haiz. Step out of our house at 3.30 PM. Half way through, the rain started to pour cats and dogs. counted ourself lucky as we reaches PT block. She brought down one Huge umbrella. I was pushed <- and -> as i was sandwitched by my sis [On the left] and PT [On the right]. It really defeats the purpose of having an umbrella. We were like semi-drenched when we reached the bus stop. Nic!!! Not Nicholas Lim lar. It was another Nicholas from our sch... Not that FOO. This year sec 3 that nic... 962 was the bus we took. Yeah... again to woodland. We wanted to go to old woodland [Check Point] at 1st but the rain held us. Instead of going there, we went to CWP. I did my belt adjustments again. This time was accompanied by a goldlion promoter. Haiz... That TZL really a hopeless fellow. He dont serve his internal customers as well as his externals. I would appreciate those that could write the feedback forms to get him sacked. Dont spoil my day over him. Cant be bothered. Hhmm.. With my current hair condition, PT and i took Atlus together. Shop and shop. Upon hearing the music at a music junction, i bought the Cd entitled "Journey To Yellowstone" Nice tracks. Shop till we got heavy heads and got our mind set to go back to sun plaza. In SP, I came acrossed a casio watch and bought it together with 2 G Sport watches. Neither cheap nor xpensive. You name the price. Bought two pants for Clara too. PT was gone by now as she is going to JB with her parent again. Hope she do have the heart to at least buy me a chocolate bar. Time to go home as it was 7.45 PM. AW! Missed my 7.00 PM show. Just looking forward to see the one shown at 9.00 PM. After watching, We waited for our mum as we wanted to tug in together. GB time lor. Played till 1.00 AM and so, my sis took over to play with Jc and his Priston Tale friend while i go and bathe. OKOK, i know it is bad to bathe so late. Time Slipped off my mind. Wow, not bad! She won two rounds in a row. Stopped GB for blog as i felt drained, just hope i could finish a simple piece for the day. Time now is 2.54 AM. So tired liao. Meet in dreamland ba. Byes.


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
2.56 AM

 
[Elf In Lido]

Ok, guess is time for my blog. Replied to every friends chatterbox. Hmmm. Feeling tired but had to finish this. Dont wana miss any. Ok, i will make this short this time as SOME PEOPLE complained. Just as PT and i stepped out of Orchard Mrt, we got approached by two Canberreans. They forced us for some survey. I was like... so shocked. Canberreans so rude? I was holding an ice-cream on my right hand and they dont take this as a thing but what they did was " Barry, Help us lar... Write lar... All Canberreans right? " PT told them that we were rushing for time as our Movie "The Elf" is starting in abt 10 mins. They took her words lightly and insisted that we help them 1st. At least give me sometime to finish my ice-cream? -.- After their badgering, we went for our movie. Managed to be on the dot. Not bad... give this a go pals. This is quite a nice show. Yeah The Elf! Movied ended. METRO PARAGON! Nic,DANIS,KAI LUN and one more ermm.. is it KQ? nvm, pardon me. Too much to remember. Oh yah, these were the ones working as sale person in Metro Paragon. PT and i intended to visit them but the weather wasn't that great. Dark clouds fading across one another. We could hardly cross a any pathways, what else ? So too bad. Could not visit them to see how foolish they were =X I went home while PT headed to find her dad. Had my dinner and formatted my Com. Watched Tv and into GB. Wah kao, What had prosessed me. I lost to Jicheng 5 -1. Oh God. Must be kidding. So sian after losing and so i tot that it might be good to write my blog soon. AW! Who the hell msg me in Msn? Oh, its nic. Got the informations from him that MR SIVA'S BLOG IS UP! Went to have a look... Sian 1/2, Ang moh so chim!!! Delighted to know that Mr Siva owns a blog. Sent and replied to all my fellow blogs pals. Now the time is 1.45 AM... Started todays blog at 1.10 AM. Hmm.. Cant write any further... Summoned to go dreamland now! Ok,happy reading nosy peeps. Tata~


- Rantings Of A Vacant Soul:
Stainz
1.47 AM